i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
