How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
There's always time for handjobs
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Randomize
