I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize