Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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