Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
