Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
