Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
