If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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