i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
