Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
