I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
