Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
