genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize