Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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