All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
