So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
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