I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Randomize
