Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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