What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
