Im at strip club and am horny
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
