you would pick up someone in the library
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
