i was born a porn star she said
now i know why i became what i already was.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
