Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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