while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
