Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I think a kid would responsible me up
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Randomize
