Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
