hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
they're like a gay fantastic four
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
