There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
