He is such a slut. More and more my type.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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