I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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