I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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