We're like a lot better than the average bears
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
