what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
You smell like stripper and shame
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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