You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
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