It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
