Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize