im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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