quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
