tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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