I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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