Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
You need Xanax blowdarts
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Randomize
