you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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