i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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