I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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