I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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