So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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