would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
