I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
