We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
