Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Two words: blizzard sex
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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