Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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