News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
