i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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