There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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