What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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