I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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