I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Send help, water and tortillas.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Randomize