make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Randomize
