I swear she didn't look like that last week.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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