I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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