1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
