I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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