Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
