Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
