I hate your face
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
