the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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