Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
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